I can still laugh at the series of events that led to an upset recently. I was trying to upload an audio to my web site. Everything I did seemed to lead to a dead-end. I have one of those personalities that loves to find a way through a challenge. After about the fifth thing that went wrong, I took a break. I gave it a few days of “timeout” and then set out on another round to conquer my task. I was using an audio player and couldn’t find the charger, then, I couldn’t find the cord to connect it to my computer. Next, I tried to use some fancy audio software that wouldn’t produce a simple MP3 file. Second timeout was needed. Again, I gave it a few days to rest then went on another quest to find the cord to connect it to my computer. I found the cord after a very funny series of looking everywhere and then finding the cord in a box that I thought I had already looked through. Just when I was ready to plug the cord in, I couldn’t find the audio recorder. Suddenly, the switch in my mind went off that was furious. My husband and I searched everywhere for the recorder. After an uneventful hunt, we both gave up and went our own way. I went to yoga and he went to the gym. When I got to yoga, the thought came up that said “you are only going to find the recorder when you let go”. Yes, thank you very much, I know that, but I am stuck. I decided to just focus on my yoga practice and leave my stuck mind. Just as finished yoga, a feeling of relaxation and openness appeared. I could see clearly with my mind’s eye exactly where the recorder was. When I got home, my husband had found the recorder exactly where I saw it in my mind. I laughed as I was so gently reminded about how the mind learns to let go. Clients always ask me “how do you let go?” One answer is to put your attention on something else. The answer will come to you when you relax and stop trying to find the answer. Here’s a tip for a quick fix when you can’t take a longer timeout. The Acronym S.T.O.P. is helpful S = stop T = take a breath O = observe what is going on P = proceed I find that life is one big paradox. You can’t find anything when you are stressed out. The lost keys, the unpaid late bill, the directions to the restaurant, the list is endless. We often don’t get what we want until we let it be. In this place of letting it be, we either get that we want or accept what we don’t get. Either way, we are able to find some peace of mind. This has the most important lesson to me about life. When my mind is in that peaceful, restful place I can find my lost things, solve many puzzling issues, and make sane decisions. If you are interested in learning more about how to relax and find real peace, call me for an appointment.
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AuthorMaryann Marks is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist in Petaluma, California. Archives
April 2019
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